The Disappointment of Being Close
by dancing in daydreams
Summary: Ron is in love with Hermione but she goes to the Yule Ball with Victor Krum. Ron has one of the worst evenings of his life.


**The Disappointment of Being Close**

**Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine and neither is the plot or parts of the dialogues. I'm just writing what Ron's feelings might have been in the situations from the books. So don't sue me.

**Summary:** Ron is in love with Hermione but she goes to the Yule ball with Victor Krum. Ron has one of the most miserable evenings of his life.

I've been looking for her all evening, not that I want to see who she came to the ball with. I don't want to know. I just don't.

Still, I can't help looking for her and some strange torturing part of my mind wants to know who she came with. Probably so that I know who to be envious of, so that I can say things against him that probably won't even be true. Just something to insult, maybe it will make all the pain that I feel better. I know I'm not being reasonable but I don't care. It isn't reasonable that she goes to the ball with somebody else and doesn't even tell us who it is.

After all, we are her friends, or have been her friends up to now. We put up with all her learning, books and her nagging that we should do our homework and the fact that she is a terrible know-it-all. We accepted it, I even learned to like these things about her, they are just a part of her. And whatever she says, I noticed she is a girl.

But no, she just goes to the ball with the next best guy that asks her, probably a Slytherin, a Hufflepuff or something worse. She should have guessed that I wanted to ask her to come to the ball with me, I just never dared, especially after that half-Veela somehow tricked me into asking her and then said no.

I know I shouldn't blame her not to have waited for me to ask her, it isn't fair. After all, there was no way she could have known. I never let her know that I like her as more than a friend, maybe the Gryffindor courage ends when it comes to love. We might be brave in battle but we aren't when we have to admit our feelings. Harry talking to Cho was another proof for it. And he asked her too late, just like I did with Hermione.

Padma says something that I don't care to hear about Pansy Parkinson's frilly pink dress robe and I grunt something in agreement. It is totally ridiculous but I didn't really expect her to wear anything that shows taste.

Malfoy is standing beside her with a smirk on his face and though Harry is murmuring something under his breath that sounds like "looks like a vicar in that", I would be glad to wear something like that. Honestly, I don't know what I'll do if he says anything about my so-called dress robe today but I'm sure he wouldn't survive it for long. Who cares if I have to go to Askaban for it.

We enter the great hall that is as always decorated with all kinds of christmassy things but I can't enjoy them. Christmas, the holiday of love. Yeah right.

The school champions are to sit at the staff table so Harry will head off and leave me alone with Padma but I am not really paying attention to him or the other champions, I am looking around the Entrance Hall, trying to spot Hermione. I look towards the door and see her.

She looks fabulous. Just plain fabulous as I notice in the one second I look at her. Her periwinkle-blue dress matches her light brown hair perfectly. Her hair. It seems so smooth and silky that I just want to go over and run my hand through it. Hermione is smiling and I can feel a smile creeping over my face as well.

Then I realise that she is smiling at the person next to her and for the first time, I notice who it is: Krum. Victor Krum, the famous Quidditch player, school champion of Durmstrang. Krum, the person I had admired most up to this second. Krum, who has everything I could ever wish for: money, fame and worst of all, the possibility to spend this evening with Hermione.

For the first time I had seen him, he isn't looking surly. He is smiling back at Hermione and saying something to her. Well, who couldn't smile if Hermione was looking at them like that?

Everybody goes to their places in the Great Hall but I hardly notice Dumbledore's speech or the conversation Padma tries to start with me. I eat some food because I know it will look strange if I don't but don't taste a thing and couldn't say afterwards what I have eaten. I keep glancing over at Hermione and Krum who seem to be enjoying themselves perfectly. After a while, I notice that Padma has given up her attempts to start a conversation.

The feast finally ends and the champions open the dance. Harry looks so uncomfortable that I would laugh if I wouldn't feel so miserable. Hermione dances, looking more wonderful than she has ever before, her face shining and her eyes sparkling. The whole hall could be filled with Veelas right now and I wouldn't even notice. Nobody could be as wonderful as Hermione is.

I look at the way she dances, notice how she and Krum talk quietly and I wish that I were the one she is dancing with.

I look down at me and laugh bitterly. No wonder Hermione prefers dancing with the famous, well dressed Victor Krum instead of me, Ron Weasley, just one of a whole mass of children, not good at anything and too poor to buy a proper dress robe. I might be good enough as a friend but not for anything else. I should have known all along, I know that and it just makes me angry at myself.

Harry and Parvati sit down next to us but I continue watching Hermione and Krum. He might dance with her now but he has no idea what she is really like. He notices her now that she looks all fancy but it was me who noticed her first, when everybody still thought of her as the brainy but unattractive bookworm. It should be me who is dancing with her. I know what she is like, I am her friend and would be there for her when she needs me.

He will go back to Bulgaria at the end of the year, all this means nothing to him, Hermione is probably just one out of many for him, somebody he won't remember while she will. She is so much more to me than that but she doesn't realise that. Why does love have to be so cruel?

They have finished their dance and Hermione comes over to us.

"Victor's just gone to get some drinks."

Victor? Victor! She is calling that brainless, arrogant, bowlegged guy from the school where so many dark wizards came from Victor!

I want to stay silent, ignore what she said but as always, my temper gets the better of me.

"_Victor? _Hasn't he asked you to call him _Vicky_ yet?"

"What's up with you?"

She doesn't know. She doesn't know that I'm in love with her, that she means so much more to me than a friend. She has no idea how much she hurt me by coming to the ball with Krum, or _Victor_ as she now calls him. She should have noticed. She should have and now she's asking stupid questions when she should know.

I know I should be reasonable and just let it be.

"If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you."

As soon as I've said it, I realise how bitter my voice sounds.

Hermione seems shocked and looks at Harry, who also seems to have no idea what is going on. Well, it serves her right.

"Ron, what-?"

She should have known but I'm not going to tell her. I don't to see her surprise, her pity.

"He's from Durmstrang! He's competing against Harry! Against Hogwarts!"

I turn the whole thing into a discussion about Harry and the Triwizard Tournament. Safer ground than telling her I'm in love with her now.

We are immediately involved in one of our arguments. I wonder how long we won't talk after this one. I know how silly we are to get into huge arguments about the smallest things but somehow I have to show my disappointment that she doesn't even know what is going on. So much about her being the cleverest young witch.

I know I hurt her during the argument and while a part of me is sorry for this and the fact that I'm pulling Harry into this once again, the rest says that it serves her right.

Harry tries to calm me down by saying that he doesn't care about Hermione coming with Krum but I ignore him. What does he understand?

Finally, Hermione storms off. I hope I never see her or Krum again.

I hardly notice Padma asking me whether I'll ask her to dance at all, I don't care at all and just give her a flat "no" which causes her to leave.

"Vare is Herm-own-niny?"

Krum. Just who I don't want to see ever again. Why can't he have been roasted by the Chinese Fireball? He can't even say her name correctly! What does she like about him?

"No idea. Lost her, have you?" I say, my voice showing how much I despise him. He slouches off and I am glad to see him go.

My relief doesn't last long because Percy comes and sits down next to us.

"Made friends with Victor Krum, have you, Ron? Excellent! That's the whole point, you know- international magical co-operation!"

Why does the most annoying of my brothers have to turn up now? The whole world seems to be one big conspiracy against me today. And why does Percy always have to be so cheerful? He should be locked into a dark dungeon where he can write dead-boring reports on cauldron-bottoms, he might know about things like that but he knows nothing about people. Locking him away would be a huge favour for humanity.

The evening drags on endlessly with the short interruption of finding out that Hagrid is a half-giant but even that doesn't take my mind off Hermione for long.

I am relieved when the ball is finally over. It is the best moment of the entire evening.

Harry and I leave and see Hermione saying good-bye to Krum. I see the icy look she gives me and glare at her.

Harry is called back by Cedric Diggory and I follow her alone, constantly slowing down. I don't want to see her, don't want to talk to her. She can go to Krum if she wants to talk, why should she need us anymore?

Once more, my luck leaves me. Though I walk so slowly that Trevor the toad would have been faster, Hermione is waiting for me when I enter the common room through the portrait hole. I wish I could turn around and leave but I know that wouldn't work.

"Ron, I don't know what your problem with Victor is but he isn't asking anything about Harry or the tournament and I want Harry to win. Victor really is different from what everybody thinks he is once you get to know him. He is just a normal person that suffers from his fame and wants to be known for who he truly is."

"I know who he truly is: a big show-off who is likely to know more dark arts than Snape and is just using you!"

"Look Ron, I really don't want to get in another row with you. I think I'm quite able to judge him on my own and I think there's nothing wrong with him but I still like you and Harry."

"Well, you aren't showing it then! You prefer spending your time in the library talking to him than being with us!"

"That's not true! I spend most of my time with you and you never cared when I went to the library up to today. You are the best friends I have ever had and the fact that I like Victor as well doesn't change anything about that!" Hermione is now shouting as well.

"Oh, I'm sure you wouldn't miss us too much now that you have Victor!"

"I don't know what gave you that idea! I helped Harry with the Summoning Charm so that he could get past that dragon, I help you do your Potions homework, I wanted you to be back on speaking terms with each other! I don't know what else you need to prove that you're important to me!"

"Well, we weren't good enough for you to go to the ball with, were we? No, you had to go to the ball with Krum! It had to be the famous Seeker, the perfect guy that even has his own fan-club, did it? No, we just weren't good enough for you!"

"You know that's not true! Victor just asked me before you did and he didn't just ask me because there weren't any girls with perfect noses left!"

"That's not the point! You should have stayed with your friends instead of agreeing to go with somebody from a different school! Somebody who is competing against Harry! Even Neville would have been better than that!"

"Well, if you don't like it, you know what the solution is, don't you?"

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"Next time there's a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!"

Hermione storms towards her dormitory and I notice that Harry has come into the common room as well. In spite of my anger and disappointment that Hermione has just left me standing there, I begin feeling slightly stupid.

"Well…well- that just proves- completely missed the point-"

I only want to crawl into my bed and try to forget what has happened this evening. I can't think of anything that could have made it any worse.

A/N: I know that some of the things Ron is thinking seem to contradict what really happened but as he realises himself, he isn't being sensible. After all, who is when they have to watch the person they love with somebody else?


End file.
